Personality Tests and Sexual Compatibility
Can questionnaires really tell you if you're perfect for your partner?
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Many folks have heard of the Enneagram, Myers-Briggs and other personality tests. Decision-makers use them in corporations, both large and small, to assess how their employees might work as a team.
But what if your significant other used one of these tests to ascertain how compatible your personality was with theirs? Would that be so wrong?
Some of us might be a bit skeptical of the legitimacy of these quizzes in helping us understand deeply complex and nuanced concepts. And research indicates personality tests such as the Enneagram do not affect marital satisfaction.
But in theory, behavior in the bedroom would be closely associated with personality. Could a quiz give you a better idea of whether you're sexually compatible with your partner?
Understanding your own sexuality and behavior
South African-based author Ann Gadd, a qualified Enneagram coach who has written extensively about the test, including in her book "Sex and the Enneagram," said the Enneagram is more of a tool to understand your own sexuality and what you are seeking, rather than one to measure sexual compatibility. The Enneagram test describes people in terms of nine types.
"It reveals how each [Enneagram] type engages sexually," she explained. "[But] it's up to each individual to decide what works best for them. I don't believe there is only one type that works for you. I find that many people enjoy exploring sex with different Enneagram types. Each type has something different to offer.
"I can teach you about yourself and why you think, act and feel the way you do," she continued. "When it comes to what you're after in a relationship, it would allow you to make a more conscious choice. For example, do you want someone where it's all about you? Or a dominating, lusty type? A romantic, intense lover? All of these examples can seem attractive to all types."
Jane Greer, Ph.D., a sex expert and marriage therapist in New York City and author of "What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship," explained that personality tests are similar to astrology readings.
"Personality tests can give you a general sense of how a person might behave and what their sexual styles might be like," she noted. "But [just as for horoscopes], there can be a million Aquariuses and Capricorns and each can differ from the other. Everyone has unique elements that need to be factored in."