“AITA For Not Allowing My Late Husband’s Affair Partner To Come To His Funeral?”
Darja Zinina and Monika Pašukonytė
Did you know that according to an article from LA Intelligence, which is a state-licensed private investigation detective agency that has been providing world-class, first-rate, professional investigative services to the Southern California community since 1990, 30-60% of all married individuals will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage?
Sadly, the original poster of today’s article has also been affected by a cheating partner – however, her story is slightly different, and some might even say rather monstrous. The thing is, u/MyMomo20 recently lost her husband, with whom she shares three children, to a car accident. The whole family was under the impression that he was traveling for a work trip, but they later learned that he was headed to visit his lover of 5 years.
For the sake of her kids, the woman was forced to put on a brave front, but she soon ran into trouble when a super-persistent mistress refused to respect their privacy.
“AITA for not allowing my late husband’s affair partner [to] come to his funeral?” – this netizen turned to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if it was wrong of her to not let her late husband’s mistress attend his funeral. The post managed to garner nearly 11K upvotes as well as 1.8K comments containing mostly supportive remarks.
The author of the post started out by mentioning that her spouse had recently died in a car accident halfway across the country.
The man told her that he was going on a work trip, but the family later found out that it was actually a lie, and he instead was headed to see his mistress, with whom he’d been together for at least five years. Needless to say, it’s been a wild ride for the woman. The couple also shares 3 kids, with the eldest one being 19 years old. He’s the only one who knows about the affair, and they’ve agreed to keep it to themselves.
However, the thing is, his so-called partner really wanted to be involved. The post’s creator was pretty against it and told her multiple times that it would not be possible, as having her there would only cause problems. But it seems like this didn’t stop her, as she ended up going to the man’s funeral. The author’s brother managed to remove her without causing too big of a scene — however, she later texted the author calling her selfish for not letting her say her goodbyes.
The woman pondered about the situation and it began to slightly bother her; she still believes that she did the right thing, but she wanted to get some unbiased opinions.
To get some feedback on the situation, Bored Panda decided to reach out to a couple of experts. Our first professional is Dr. Jane Greer, a Marriage and Family Therapist, Psychotherapist, Sex Therapist, Author, Radio Host, and creator of the popular celebrity sex & relationship commentary, “SHRINK WRAP.”
The first question that we posed to Dr. Jane Greer was how to cope with being cheated on, to which she said: “You must deal directly with your partner to determine if they are remorseful and apologetic, and if they are invested in rebuilding your trust and repairing the damage that was done, or if their cheating was an indication they want to end the partnership.”
We then inquired as to whether she believed that the post’s author had made the right decision: “Absolutely. As devastating as this had to be for her, she kept her priority on her children’s wellbeing. Because of the infidelity, the presence of this woman could be damaging to her children’s emotional health, and she was right to want the woman to say her goodbyes privately, not with the family as she is not a member of it.”